


fortitude

by inukouga



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 09:33:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20812925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inukouga/pseuds/inukouga
Summary: naraku may be physically gone, but he’s still there, in their dreams and darkest parts of their minds. it’s hard, but kagura and kikyo are there for each other through it all. one day, he won’t be able to hurt them anymore.alternatively; kagura and kikyo finally allow themselves to heal.





	fortitude

Kikyo has a nightmare.

It’s been a while since her last, and Kagura’s holding her, listening to her quiet cries of _let me go_, a remnant of her violent dreams. 

Sometimes Kagura thinks she’s better, she thinks _they’re_ better, and then she’s trying to hold Kikyo together even though Kagura herself is still falling apart, and Kikyo does the same for her. They build each other up, slowly and carefully and then it all just _shatters_, and they start from scratch, building each other up, slowly and carefully, again and again—

_He’s gone_, Kagura says, running her fingers through long, black strands in comforting strokes. _He’s gone_, she says again, and it’s only half true. He’s gone, but he’s still _there_, in their memories and the darkest parts of their minds.

Kikyo still has trouble trusting people and opening up, and Kagura still feels paranoid and like she’s about to have her freedom snatched from her at any moment.

Sometimes Kikyo doesn’t speak, and stares at the wall, eyes unseeing and lost in pain she feels like she has to bottle up. It can take Kagura a while to reach her, but she always does, and that’s all that matters. 

Sometimes Kagura wakes up in the middle of the night panting and gasping, and she tells Kikyo that it all felt so _real_, like he was actually here. Kikyo stays up with her when she can’t go back to sleep, distracting her with soft murmurings and holding her close until they drift off again (or they find that they can’t go back to sleep no matter how much they try, and they stay up all night holding each other, afraid of what’ll happen if they let go).

It angers her, how much control he still has, how much he’s still able to _take_ from them, from everyone he’s hurt.

They’ve decided not to speak of it, of _him_, thinking that it’ll help them forget. But now, they both see that it’s harming rather than helping, and the more they keep it all inside, the worse it gets.

“Kikyo. We should… talk,” Kagura says one day, when they’re drinking tea and sitting together, quietly enjoying each other’s company.

“About?” Kikyo asks. Kagura has a feeling that she already knows.

“_Naraku_,” she spits out.

They haven’t said his name in a while.

Kikyo takes a deep breath, and there’s a slight hitch that betrays her seemingly composed demeanor, revealing it as a façade. She’s silent for a moment before she nods and lets Kagura take her hand. “Okay.”

They talk for a while, not about everything, because there’s so _much_, but they talk. There are toxic walls inside them that are chipping away, and they feel themselves become a little lighter. When they decide to take a break to talk about it more another time, Kagura decides to replace the dourness with a bit of mischief. She teases and makes a few jokes and Kikyo rolls her eyes but she’s smiling, and Kagura mirrors it with a smile of her own. Then, Kikyo laughs, it’s loud and unbridled and Kagura’s heart is full, because Kikyo doesn’t do it enough and she’s beautiful.

Kagura knows they’ll be okay.

Days later, when Kagura panics and feels like she can’t breathe, like _his_ hands are tight around her throat and _squeezing_, Kikyo leans her forehead against Kagura’s and takes audible breaths, and when Kagura’s breathing becomes slower and stable, she holds her so they’re both on steady ground, ready to face all of it together.

The moments when they’re there for each other, fragile but whole, allow them to push doubt and fear out and finally let light in.


End file.
